By Kyle Perkins.
As I said with my other post, I have always had a fascination with religion, cults, and fringe societies. I’ve always enjoyed just sitting back and observing the many facets of humanity. I think it’s why I always make funny statuses using observational humor on platforms like Facebook, because let’s face it, humans are funny. Our beliefs, our certainty, and our pride sometimes defy logic, even when it’s thrown into our faces. Plus, I have always loved dark humor. People deal with things differently, and I like to make light of grave situations. I think it makes it easier to cope. Some people pray, some cry, and I make stupid jokes hoping to make someone smile when they would otherwise be inconsolable. So, writing a series like this came easy to me.
However, my knowledge of religion, cults, fringe society and the bizarre are not the only thing that made writing this series easy for me. You see, my main character is a raging alcoholic. That’s something I know well, because I’ve lived it. It wasn’t something I studied. It was something I have actively participated in when I was younger. I basically pissed away my teens and early twenties. When I was in my early twenties, I got blackout drunk every day. I woke up and grabbed a warm beer from the night before that was likely scattered on my bedroom floor, and went to sleep sometimes with a bottle still in my hand. It destroyed relationships, ruined my credibility, and made me miss out on so much in my life.
Every time you read about Alex in the story, I am pulling from personal experience, and while it sucks to relive it. I wanted you guys to get a real feel for what it’s like from the point of view of someone that has lived it. It’s not a source of pride for me to talk about shaking in bed at night, nor waking up with drenched sheets from sweating out the booze over the course of days it took to get out of my system. Every time I went on one of these benders, it was like I time traveled a week or two into the future, and huge chunks of my life are missing from my memory. I have gone through withdrawals more times than is probably safe. PROTIP: One time is too many. All of my stories, though they are fiction, the characters or characteristics of my characters, are often pulled from real life.
Nowadays, I don’t drink like that. Shit, I’ve only gotten drunk a few times this year. The problem is, unlike most drunks that just drink all day every day, I just can’t stop drinking when I do drink. I can go a year without drinking or even thinking about it, but if I do drink, I know that’s all I’ll be doing for a week until my body finally tells me to fuck off. Well, during the writing of the second half of Teabreeze, I was taken on a dinner cruise, and since you’re on the ocean, it’s safe to have a couple beers, right? I mean, warm air, beautiful sunset, good music… Except, no. Fuck no. Not for someone like me. That couple of drinks turned into a week straight of drinking. Now, I want to make something clear, I can go months and months without drinking. My only problem is that when I do start, it’s impossible to stop. So, why do I keep doing it? Hell if I know. It probably stems from my social anxiety and inability to be around crowds of people, and booze makes me a social butterfly, but it’s unhealthy.
Why am I telling all of you this? Well, because I want to hold myself accountable first and foremost, but I also want you to know that this story comes from a very personal place for me. This series as a whole, it’s a little piece of me written down. A piece of my soul. If I didn’t tell you this, it would just be another fun book, but I am hoping that if I gave you a little depth behind it, you could appreciate it more than “just another book” on your shelf. It’s a piece of me.
Anyway, I really hope you guys like the series. I loved writing it, and I did it for you guys. My fans are the only reason I write. I typically lose interest in things pretty quickly(aside from drinking… ZING!), but you guys keep me going. It means more than you could ever know that after being a fuck up my whole life, I have a second chance. I won’t waste it, and I’ll keep bringing you guys fresh material from the heart.
Love you all.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about with Teabreeze, I’ll post the links below.